Tag Archives: thriller

Episode 34: “Hell Comes to Frogtown”

Welp, this is a weird one, Screenteam. After our last foray in episode 33 on Edge and Lana’s “Interrogation”, the boys all decided to take tiny bit of a break from WWE Studios, and instead treat ourselves to a bit of an acquired taste (but still in spirit of the show). This “critic’s pick” series gets handed off to Corey for a movie where the word “bizarre” is only the beginning — 1989’s Hell Comes To Frogtown, starring the late WWE Hall of Famer, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.

In the near-future, the world has been decimated due to nuclear warfare, leaving the United States a dystopic, barren wasteland. Humanity is facing a population crisis and only one man, Sam Hell (Piper), can help alleviate that. Sent in to a reservation full of amphibious mutant humanoids to rescue eight fertile human women, Sam is joined by Sandahl Bergman as he shotguns and mugs his way through Frogtown. “Strange” doesn’t even begin to describe this as the boys (with show cinephile, Aaron Weaver, taking the fourth spot) get really philosophical about the various themes of this flick, discover frog puns days removed from watching it, and come to terms that MRA red-pillers will be around for a long, long time. Did we mention that Frogtown mutants have three dicks?

All hail Centinela! SUBSCRIBE to the gang on iTunes and Stitcher, LIKE us on Facebook and FOLLOW the show on Twitter for everything OTVS and WWE Studios.

Did You Know? The “Dance of the Three Snakes” sequence originally called for Spangle (Sandahl Bergman) to be in the nude. Thankfully, after pointing out the contractual agreement saying she wasn’t obligated to, we instead got way more shots of the General Toty’s three wieners. Nice.

Episode 33: “Interrogation”

Cinephile Aaron Weaver is baaaaaaaaack with the boys on this episode of On This Very Screen as we dive head-first into one of the WWE Studios’ more recent offerings — Interrogation, starring WWE’s Edge and Lana.

In this bungled mess of an 24-style action thriller (that should have been a lot better than it was), Edge plays FBI special agent, Lucas Nolan — an expert interrogator assigned to sussing out a layered terror plot from self-professed terrorist, Patrick Sambongui. Filled with enough secrets and betrayals to make even fans of Basic blush, this movie gets the boys talking about what separates a “mind palace” from a “memory house,” their thoughts on the only neo-Nazi bar in Minnesota, and their take on one of the ballsiest twists  ever seen for a movie on this podcast.

Well… Assface… SUBSCRIBE to the gang on iTunes and Stitcher, LIKE us on Facebook and FOLLOW the show on Twitter for everything OTVS and WWE Studios.

Did You Know? According to IMDB, this movie took eleven days to shoot. Could have fooled us.

Episode 31: “The Call”

Salutations, ScreenTeam! The boys are back in the studio (joined once again by their favorite local cinephile, Aaron Weaver) with a look at WWE Studios’ biggest hit to date — The Call (2013), starring Academy freakin’ Award-winning Halle Berry, Academy freakin’ Award-nominated Abigail Breslin, and Academy freakin’ Award-invited Morris Chestnut.

In this surprisingly taut thriller, Halle Berry plays Jordan Turner, a disillusioned 911 emergency services operator who’s in a race against time to save abducted teen Casey (Breslin) from the clutches of a reckless psychopath in WWE Studios MVP, Michael Ecklund. Throughout the episode, the boys explore what it takes to properly conduct a daytime kidnapping, what NOT to do when spontaneously murdering someone at a gas station, and the absolute ACTING CLINIC that WWE superstar/commentator, David Otunga, puts on when Vince “Goddammit” McMahon isn’t yelling in his ear.

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Did You Know? Robert Altman is apparently a very famous director.

Episode 28: “Suburban Commando”

In this New AmericaOn This Very Screen looks to its favorite, most enduring patriot when we finally crack open a feature we’ve been talking about for ages: The Bollea Collection. And when it comes to our favorite American hero (brother), we had no problem starting this special podcast series off with the 1991 action/comedy gem, Suburban Commando. In this mullet-infused, skateboard-riding, cinematic equivalent of Zubaz pants, Hulk “Terry Bollea” Hogan plays Shep Ramsey, an intergalactic space warrior who arrives on Earth to… charge his car battery, essentially. Living with a suburban family headed by Christopher Lloyd and Shelley Duvall, Shep learns the ways of Earth by basically destroying fucking everyone and everything he happens to come across, all while avoiding space bounty hunters (one of whom, you might recognize).

In this episode, the boys discuss early ’90s nostalgia, the unbearably long (and numerous) montages of the Hulkster getting used to Earth, and another strange heel turn/face turn that may or not allude to a “highly-touted” gay love scene between Hogan and Christopher Lloyd.

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Did You Know? The original casting for this movie had Arnold Schwarzenegger in the titlular role, with Danny Devito playing Christopher Lloyd’s part. Unfortunately, this project was passed on by both actors, and instead given to Hogan/Lloyd to prove, once and for all, that cocaine use can be on both sides of the camera.

Episode 27: “No One Lives”

Happy Halloween, ScreenTeam! Or should I say “Scream Team” (eat a dick, Abrigo)? For the second part of our Halloween double-shot, we here at OTVS keep it to the usual Musketeers to dive into the cinematic bloodbath, No One Lives (2012), starring charming, Hollywood leading man Luke Evans, and… “funkasaurus,” Brodus Clay! Now, with a title like No One Lives, you shouldn’t be surprised this flick is a full-on 78-minute gore bonanza that centers on a group of robbers who kidnaps a wealthy couple, only to find out that one of them (Evans) isn’t exactly as helpless as he looks. In this admittedly chaotic episode, the boys talk Halloween plans, compare Evans’ “Driver” protagonist to the Doctor, and absolutely gush about a scene where a certain someone is literally worn as a meat suit — and we ain’t talking Lady Gaga.

Mike Colter has a gorgeous body. Subscribe to the gang on iTunes and StitcherLIKE us on Facebook and FOLLOW the show on Twitter for everything OTVS and WWE Studios!

Did You Know? This movie was directed was Ryuhei Kitamura, the man behind 2008 cult horror flick, “Midnight Meat Train” starring Bradley Cooper, Vinny Jones, and Leslie Bibb. No joke, here, folks — that’s a totally badass movie that you gotta check out, like, yesterday.

 

Episode 26: “Leprechaun: Origins”

Here comes Halloween for the OTVS crew, as the boys are back with friend of the show, Aaron Weaver from Two Cats Comic Book Store, for the first of our WWE Studios horror double-shot! In this episode, Paolo gives us a quick report from being at both Smackdown and Raw this week and describes what can only be called the “eye of the wrestling storm.” Afterwards, they jump right into what might just be the worst movie ever reviewed here at On This Very Screen — the prequel to an “iconic” franchise that absolutely nobody asked for in 2014: Leprechaun: Origins! In it, the boys discuss the murky “mythology” of the film, the sheer nonsense of its plot and character motivations (even for horror standards), and the theory that this entire movie may just be an ill-fated homage to Steven Spielberg. Feeling lucky?

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Did You Know? According to IMDB, Dylan “Hornswoggle” Postl hadn’t seen any of the previous movies in the Leprechaun franchise, and vowed not to do so, so as to create his own version of the titular character. Thankfully, he wasn’t playing that character, and instead played a dumb monster in a rubber suit. 

Episode 24: “Barricade”

In the Kiefer Sutherland episode of On This Very Screen, the boys celebrate Paolo’s 30th birthday by unpacking WWE Studios’ first non-Superstarred feature film that totally isn’t The Shining — the horror-mystery-thriller, Barricade (2012)! Starring the curiously-cast Eric McCormack of Will and Grace fame, this flicks tells the tale of a widowed single father who’s haunted by the ghosts of his past after taking his kids up to a desolate snowy mountain cabin. In the review, the boys (joined by very funny stand-up comedian, Mean Dave) are divided by the movie’s refreshingly bold (and arguably unfocused) approach to both screenwriting and editing, while still having quite the thoughtful discussion about what makes an effective horror movie. Later on, they recast Eric McCormack in the lead role with WWE Superstars, and read off a hilarious “face turn/heel turn” review from the edgiest youth ministry teacher in America.

Mom! Grandpa’s gone senile again! SUBSCRIBE to the gang on iTunes and Stitcher, LIKE us on Facebook and FOLLOW the show on Twitter for everything OTVS and WWE Studios.

Did You Know? The director of this movie also helmed 2006’s zombie satire, “Fido,” starring Billy Connelly, who — according to Marc — may or may not have been a part of “Montell Python.”

Episode 06: “The Condemned”

Swaggering into the spotlight of On This Very Screen’s sixth episode is the Texas Rattlesnake, himself, Stone Cold Steve Austin, with rated-R action-thriller, The Condemned! Are you a fan of heavy-handed social commentary? Plodding fight scenes? Rob Hoffman from f*cking Suits?! Then you’ve hit the jackpot as the gang is joined by stand-up comedian, Dash Kwiatkowski, to discuss squandered death scenes,  the movie’s unhealthy fascination with sexual assault, and what happens when characters are literally more developed on your Wiki page than in the actual film.  Buckle up, ’cause this one’s an absolute riot!

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Did You Know? Bah Gawd, Stone Cold wasn’t originally cast as main protagonist, Jack Conrad, but rather British SAS agent-turned-psychopath, Ewan McStarley. Yeah. The Vinnie Jones character. Christ, almighty, what we would do to hear the “Austin 3:16” quote in an English accent…