Episode 11: “Santa’s Little Helper”

‘Tis the season, ScreenTeam, and this holiday, On This Very Screen is proud to review the WWE’s latest attack in its War on Christmas, Santa’s Little Helper! Marc and Annie find themselves opposite Paolo on this flick, but it’s a fun show, nonetheless! Assisted by the apparently hideous North Pole elf, Billie (Nip/Tuck’s AnnaLynne McCord), Dax “The Axe” Ardwick (Miz) finds himself in direct competition with another elf, Eleanor (Paige), over the position of Santa’s own, personal Hand of the King — the “Ho-Ho Ho” (seriously) . Moreover, the gang marvels at the WWE’s attempt at reverse-sexism, the issues of racism and body-shaming plaguing Santa’s workshop,  and an obstacle course set piece with all the excitement and magic of a flailing sea cow. Put down your red Starbucks cups, nerds, and get ready for a real holiday controversy.

Ho-ho-holy shit, what a polarizing movie. What’d you think, ScreenTeam? Let us know at otvs.show@gmail.comSUBSCRIBE to the gang on iTunes (and leave a rating or a review for us, if you please), LIKE us on Facebook and FOLLOW the show on Twitter for updates on everything WWE Studios.

Did You Know?  During the scene with the Miz in the retirement home, we find that the seniors are watching an episode of E!’s “Total Divas” — absolutely confirming the torture many of our senior citizens face at these privatized hell holes.

Contest: Win A Copy of “WWE 2K16!”

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Think you’ve got what it takes to raise some hell with Stone Cold Steve Austin and the rest of the WWE/NXT roster? Then, here’s your chance to win a FREE copy of WWE 2K16 for either major next-gen console — courtesy of On This Very Screen!

As mentioned in our last episode,  we’re asking the ScreenTeam to pitch us a WWE film in two paragraphs or less using these parameters:

  • Genre: Cyber-thriller (think The Net or Enemy Of The State)
  • WWE Superstar: R-Truth.
  • Hollywood Actor: Ashton Kutcher.

Will R-Truth be our cat-saving, hacker protagonist, or the cigar-chomping lead investigator hunting down the Kutch? Is Ashton Kutcher a Swedish assassin sent to terminate the former K-Kwik, or the snarky sidekick with a speech impediment?  Everything title, plot, and character-wise will be up to you, so e-mail  your synopsis to us at otvs.show@gmail.com, or send us a private message on on Facebook, and we’ll pick our favorite treatment and announce the winner in a future episode!

Deadline is January 16th, 2016 — jump on it, ’cause Marc, Paolo, and Annie said so!

Preview: “Santa’s Little Helper”

The holidays are here, ScreenTeam, and we at On This Very Screen are celebrating with a Miz-filled Christmas as we saw WWE’s most recent release, Santa’s Little Helper! Multi-cultural elves, horny old women, and a frighteningly psychopathic Santa make up this strangely entertaining flick about dickheads during the Christmas season. You ready to be a ho-ho-ho?

Episode 10: “No Holds Barred”

Holy milestone episode, ScreenTeam! On This Very Screen celebrates its tenth episode with the 1989 Hulk Hogan epic and WWE Studios prototype, No Holds Barred! As you can imagine, Paolo and Marc have their work cut out for them when Annie tags in special guest, OJ Patterson of Courting Comedy and Super Trashed Bros! Together, these three smarks let the wrestling references fly while examining the real inspiration behind ECW, the idea of Hulk Hogan literally scaring the shit out of somebody, and whether or not this flick was just one elaborate rib on the “Macho Man” Randy Savage. We also unveil the newly-christened “Nation of Domination Racial Sensitivity” award, and as well as OTVS’s first contest to win a free copy of “WWE 2K16!” Listen now!

Is No Holds Barred really a cyberpunk movie, as Paolo says? Sound off at otvs.show@gmail.com to let us knowSUBSCRIBE to the gang on iTunes (and leave a rating or a review for us, if you please), LIKE us on Facebook and FOLLOW the show on Twitter for updates on everything WWE Studios.

Did You Know?  In an ill-fated effort to promote this dreck, Tommy ‘Tiny’ Lister was brought in to the WWF as his character from the movie, Zeus. The problem, naturally, was he wasn’t actually a professional wrestler — unlike Robocop, whose WCW cameo was kind of the best thing, ever.