Marc, here, guys — and in honor of the Texas Rattlesnake gracing the cover of “WWE 2K16,” we at OTVS are going to be taking on 2007 action epic, The Condemned! Leave your bow at home, Ms. Everdeen, ’cause I’m volunteering as tribute to tell you that Jack Conrad would absolutely WASTE you. Look out for episode six of On This Very Screen next week, when we team up with one of my absolute favorite comedians in the California scene, today — Dash Kwiatkowski!
Break out the horns and crappy Facebook memes, because John goddamn Cena makes his hopefully triumphant return in episode five of On This Very Screen with 12 Rounds. In his sophomore effort, our favorite would-be marine takes on the role of a New Orleans detective, Danny Fisher, in a race against time to rescue his wife from the clutches of an international arms dealer who may or may not be Littlefinger from Game of Thrones.
Joined by friend of the show and creator of the OTVS theme song, Tyler “Laser Lip” Piersall, the gang tackles married life in the WWE Cinematic Universe, the power of watching movies in fast forward, and what happens when a protagonist does more collateral damage than his villain ever could.
Did You Know? “12 Rounds” director and hero to Finnish filmmakers everywhere, Renny Harlin, is also the cinematic visionary behind such silver-screen turds as “Deep Blue Sea,” “The Legend of Hercules,” and “Cutthroat Island” — a film infamous for holding a place in the Guinness Book of World Records as one of the biggest financial flops of all time.
Ahoy, ScreenTeam! Next Wednesday (9/23), we release the next OTVS episode featuring the glorious return of cinematic juggernaut, John Cena. Will his post-Marine, sophomore effort knock us off our feet, or just have us hurriedly scrambling out of the theater? Get ready for more facepalms and F-bombs than ever when we’re joined by friend of the show, Tyler Piersall, for 12 Rounds!
In episode four of On This Very Screen, the gang takes on the gargantuan mixed-martial arts comedy, Knucklehead, starring the “Big Show,” Paul Wight and Mark Feuerstein from USA’s Royal Pains. Touted as WWE Studios’ first comedy, Knucklehead combines the plot of Nacho Libre with enough fart jokes to power the city of Los Angeles, and the results are goddamn glorious. How do bears get fighting licenses? Since when did orphans have to audition to be adopted? And what in the blue hell is an “interesting Jew?” All these questions and more are addressed in our funniest episode, yet!
Did You Know? “Knucklehead” wasn’t the only comedic venture WWE Studios had in mind for the “World’s Largest Athlete.” Reportedly, there were early discussions of a buddy/road comedy starring Big Show and former WWE Superstar, Kurt Angle, that never made it past pre-production. Oh, what could have been.
Next Wednesday (9/9), we release our first post-launch episode examining what happens when you mix Fight Club and orphans. The results may surprise you when we review WWE Studios’ first movie starring Paul “Big Show” Wight — Knucklehead!